This post has a content warning.
Having a bad day, week, month, year, or lifetime? Perhaps this is why.
Maybe the reason you feel so awful has got nothing to do with you at all.
Below is a combined portrait of every female-born narcissist who’s ever hurt me. It's hard to know when to stop listing behaviours, there are so many, but here are the main ones.
1. Blocks you at every turn from participating in a loved one’s funeral.
2. Only answers direct questions if she feels like it.
3. Plays favourites and scapegoats.
4. Says with disgust and contempt, while looking you up and down:
“You don’t have a disability!”
5. Victim-blames you when you reveal you have experienced severe sexual abuse.
6. Neglects her pet, sometimes to the point of death.
7. Sexually abuses you during an allied health treatment, then stalks you when you leave the practice.
8. Always gets her way – if she doesn’t, she simply cries and then gets her way.
9. Takes things she wants from her parents’ house without asking. Her parents let her.
10. Kisses her child on the lips in public, which is culturally inappropriate and a bit creepy.
11. Won’t let her child have birthday parties.
12. Her child’s birthday parties are ridiculously over the top.
13. Complains a lot. Finds it hard to say anything positive about anything.
14. Criticises others a lot. Finds it hard to say anything positive about anyone else.
15. Is over-privileged - needs everything to be new and cutting-edge.
16. Tells trans people she doesn’t see gender.
17. Breaks up other people's marriages.
18. Has unrealistically high standards of others.
19. Craves control of everything and everyone.
20. Can’t apologise. Ever.
21. Charms and wheedles until you give in and agree.
22. If charming and wheedling don’t work, switches to bullying.
23. Is adept in gaslighting – it's like breathing for her.
24. Selectively ignores family members who are not her favourites.
25. Includes one family member in her bridal party, but not the other.
26. Invites one family member out for lunch to celebrate her birthday, but not the other.
27. Makes everything about her.
28. Seizes power – there is no need to negotiate for it.
29. Puts down her life partner in public.
30. Replaces affection for her life partner with affection for her child.
31. Sees her child as an extension of herself and as something to control.
32. Is always complaining that she's short of money, then drives around in a luxury car, wearing designer clothes, and expensive jewellery and watches.
33. Is extremely competitive.
34. Has to wear something new and eye-catching to every event.
35. Must be the centre of attention at every event.
36. Is happy for you to help her move but never offers to help you move.
37. Is happy for you to help renovate her home but never offers to help renovate yours.
38. Talks about you and herself as if you are one person.
39. Uses you when it suits her and ignores you when it doesn’t.
40. Can’t accept any criticism at all and will abuse you if you try.
41. Tells lies to others about you, which influences how they treat you.
42. Lies to get what she wants, even with vulnerable people.
43. Puts on a false personality to appear endearing.
44. Is in absolute denial about all her cruel, violent, illegal and immoral behaviour.
45. If one of you has to go down, it will be you, and if she makes a mistake, it will be your fault.
46. Treats you like a servant, employee, or slave. Bosses you around. Gives you her rubbish (something of hers that she doesn't want), instead of buying you a gift.
47. Makes decisions for you, because you are an object, not a person.
48. Rings you up and suggests things you could do because she doesn’t have any understanding of what you, or your life, are actually like - has no idea who you are.
49. You are invisible to her - if she looks at you in a photo with someone else, she WILL NOT SEE YOU.
50. Behaves unconscionably, especially towards her scapegoats and enemies.
51. Doesn’t operate within the confines of the law, but thinks she is a model citizen.
52. Expects you to be worried when her loved one is in hospital but is dispassionate and disinterested when yours is.
53. Takes over. Everyone is so used to it, they don’t fight it.
54. Turns her life partner against you. Her life partner then sends you abusive emails, saying: “You are a bad person”. You have to block them both.
55. Has an evil side that comes out every now and then and makes you feel like you’ve dropped into a film noir. It’s like she is switching personalities. Usually lasts just a few seconds, then she’s back to her usual self.
Gen Memory
February 2025
תגובות